That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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