i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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