my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
The best revenge is premature balding
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
