with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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