he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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