Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
