i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
