There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
