clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
