Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
