Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You've changed since you got that strap on
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
