i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
