Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
