As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
