Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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