I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
