Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
