This dress was meant to end up on your floor
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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