No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
