peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
