He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
