what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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