He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
