I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
