If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
