they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
