Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize