I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
