I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
