dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
