so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
