Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
