I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i used baking grease as lip gloss
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
