Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
