dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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