i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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