I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
