You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize