Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I see more hoeing in ur future
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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