your parents love me but you hate me
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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