If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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