we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
