2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
