If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
