I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
