You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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