You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
