We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
