I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
