i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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