Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
