she looked like the before picture.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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